Step Into The Light

spending my living days right.

Monday, February 05, 2007

If you don't undestand how to use an elevator, then you shouldn't be allowed to use one.

Ok, listen up.

When it comes time for me to list my pet peeves, way up there on the list is people who dont understand how to use an elevator. These devices aren't new, or revolutionary. They arnt new technology that tech-no people refuse to embrace. These suckers have been around since the turn of the 19th century. Now granted, they've come a long way since good ole' Otis first inducstrialzed the industry, but the basic principals still exist.

Elevator goes up, Elevator goes down. Mostly everyone understands this concept. What people have problems with is using their brain when it comes to elevator operation. Therefore i would like to include these little tidbits of elevator knowledge so that people may brush up a bit.

  • When calling the elevator to your floor, the button need only be pushed one time. This means when you walk up to someone already waiting, you can go ahead and assume that they don't just randomly stand in front of elevator doors in their free time, they've already pushed the button. Another clear cut sign is that the button will already be illuminated, letting everyone know: yes, its on its way. I should also mention that the elevator isn't keeping a tally of how many people are down there waiting, so pushing it again isn't making your wait any shorter.
  • If you are entering an elevator from a floor that isnt the ground or the roof, something to keep in mind is that you are by no means the "Lord of the Elevator" It has not come merely for your beckoning. It may be on its way up, and you want to go down, and guess what Gandalf, its not going to decide to bring you down first. So try not to look like one of your closest advisers has just poisoned your mead when it continues its upward climb
  • Upon entering the elevator, you'll notice that some of the buttons will be lit from other people riding with you. Take a look to see if the floor you want to go to has been pushed, if it has, you're in luck... its going to stop there, there is absolutely no need to remind it that you are looking to get to that floor.
  • Elevators are massive metal boxes. So guess what... your cell phone conversation needs to come to an end. You are seriously putting yourself in danger when, in a crowded elevator, you start screaming "Hello? Hello? Marcus? Are you th....Hello? ::looks at display of phone:: Marcus??" Even if for some ridiculous reason you do get service, no one wants to hear you talk on the phone. Your conversation can wait the 38 seconds. Let it go.
I hope this has helped anyone who may have been confused. The more i get frustrated the more i think about proposing mandatory elevator licenses.



At 2/05/2007 4:37 PM, Blogger nogerorob said...

Helpful tips for toolbags, best entry yet.


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